February 12th – Parent Council Minutes

Principal Randy Bernstein’s Report:

• Judy Shepherd, Matthew Shepherd’s mom will be addressing students at an assembly. It costs $10,000 for her to speak and they are suggesting $10 donations at the door. The assembly is voluntary for the students to attend and is at the end of the school day.
• A discussion ensued about 4j’s “Shaping the Future” recommendations. The website has the full report, please read it. There will be a public hearing on February 20th and there is a calendar on the website that shows the events.
• Site Council is soliciting comments from parents and you are encouraged to contact the 4j Board of Education to express concerns about FTE hours for teachers and class sizes.
• Mixed messages on small high schools facing 3-4 FTE cuts. Feeling helpless and reversing policy decisions.

Financial Update- Cindy Wright:

• Survey out on how to spend our Parent Council funds
• Need more volunteers for Funding Committee for meetings on February 21st and 28th at 7 p.m. in the library. We want to hear all aspects of the discussion.

Guest Speaker: Judy Hoar, “Let’s Get Real About Drugs and Alcohol at South” Task Force

• Judy saw a story on TV about a middle school in Washington that asked parents to sign a pledge to supervise kids in their homes and to communicate with other parents. Can see the pledge on the website.
• The school in Washington has received a grant to print directories and information.
• We can use their program and tweak it if we want to, but we just need to acknowledge where it came from.
• If your kid comes to my house, call me and I will supervise and communicate.
• Parent comment-including middle schools
• Parent who is signing this is saying that they are monitoring teens in regard to alcohol/drug consumption. Parents can still drink in their own homes. Parents are asked to set a responsible example.
• Parent comment- suggest that we bring this up with student council. Students may feel controlled and it is good to have a conversation. It will matter how this is presented.
• Judy sees this as possibly being connected to the student directory with an icon next to the name.
• Parent comment-Has this program been around long enough to show results?

Announcements: Helen
• Keynote presentation on survey results will be on Parent Council Minutes link on Parent Council website.
• Budget Committee will meet February 21st and February 28th.
• Helen will not be Parent Council Chair after June. She will continue to do Parent Education Series. Please write to her if you are interested.
• KC Templeton has also asked for help to produce the directory, too.

Funding Survey Results
• Helen took us through a visual presentation of the survey results. 88 parents asked for the survey and 55 responded.

Parent Education Series – Beyond Romeo and Juliet: A Parent’s Discussion on Teen Dating and Relationships

• High School dating-what do you think when your child has his or her first crush?
• Panel consisted of 4 current South students and Shannon Kilduff, Educator from Planned Parenthood
• Parent Question (PQ): How does it work nowadays?
• Panelist Response (PR): Students usually go out as friends first. Shannon said what’s going out versus hanging out? Terminology-hanging out is with a bunch of friends. Going out is the equivalent of going steady.
• PQ: In our good day “good girls didn’t do anything, what’s going on?
• PR: It varies from person to person. Some people are having sex, based on your morals. I think some parents are naïve about it. If you want to know you have to ask.
• PR: Average age in United States of first sexual intercourse is 15. World average (including oral sex) is 13.5 Many parents think it is not happening here.
• PQ: Impression is that kids think many of them are having sex.
• PR: Shannon-sexual activity and teen pregnancies has continued to drop. Young people are waiting longer to become sexually active.
• Randy: Last year’s 11th graders that were surveyed showed that 44% have had sexual activity. Four years it was 52%
• PQ: Quoted a pediatrician in South Eugene “Even my goody two shoe girls are usually going to have sexual intercourse if they are in a committed relationship”
• PQ: How hard is the emotional part of it for kids?
• PR: Hard to say, such a range. Juno did it on a whim, that’s just not how it works in our group. We’ve had a lot of health education and wouldn’t do it just because we are bored.
• PQ: Sexual energy seems to be powered by young women now.
• PR: Expectation is put on the girl if she wants to keep the relationship going.
• PQ: How can I support my child? What worked is that we have been talking openly since they were 4 years old. What did your parents do to open communication? What shuts your down?
• PR: Can’t really stop it. Parents need to be more accepting. Offer to be there to talk, don’t forbid sex and reiterate safety procedures. If my mom asks too much, I’ll keep a distance.
• PQ: Is it better to just shut up and don’t talk?
• PR: Be available. Be accepting-don’t shut them down.
• Shannon brought handouts for students and parents on Sexual Education and Sexual Health. Packets are free from 1-800-KITSFORUS
• PR: Let students know that they can use protection. Shannon: There is a stigma of having Planned Parenthood so close to South Eugene High School. There are five different locations around town. Planned Parenthood has a great reputation for giving information.
• PQ: What are the things parents can do to encourage healthy, loving and caring relationships that may or may not include sex?
• PR: Setting example by modeling good relationships yourself. Shannon: Lots of sex education, but not much on trust and relationships. Everybody has a different path. You can’t teach when relationships are going to happen.
• PQ: I like to use the media like “Juno” and “Knocked Up” to initiate a conversation.
• PR: Shannon-you might ask, “What do you think you would do in that situation?”
• PQ: What if my kid wants a sleepover with girls and guys saying that these are their friends and nothing is going to happen. Do you let them?
• PQ: It would make it harder for me to not allow it if some other parents allow it.
• PR: Shannon-explaining your gut to your kid is really important. Continue to have open communication.
• PQ: Creating the climate, questions about dress and abdomen hanging out. Back in the day, kids would be expelled if they were caught kissing and wearing inappropriate dress.
• Randy: There is a dress code, anything promoting violence is not allowed, bikinis. At the high school level bare midriffs were a passing fad. Hugging and kissing in the halls, some staff are non-assertive. Really passionate stuff is discouraged.
• PQ: Totally Awesome Health-good book to use.
• PR: Health and Drug Education just gets more alarming. It doesn’t get into the relationships. You get more in depth and talk about sex more. Shannon and a parent-Unitarian Universalist Church has program OWL, Our Whole Lives addresses relationships really well.
• PQ: Thinking through decision about sex, how supportive are peers?
• PR: Friends would look out for one another. Shannon-anyone at any age has confidential access to birth control, covered under health insurance and doesn’t go through parent’s health insurance. Planned Parenthood encourages talking with parents.